GoldVish, a Swiss company with a name seemingly inspired from Dracula's love for his aquarium ("look at my GoldVish, and my lovely SvordVish!"), has gone into the Guiness Book of Records as makers of the world's most expensive sock mobile phone. Costing 1 million EUROs, this jewel-encrusted solid gold mobile phone has been inexplicably shaped like two socks welded together.

Called the GoldVish Limited Edition, it's a real brute of a device, as all that gold really weighs it down (so I've heard - I've not had time to review it yet. I've just stuck it on the back seat of my car for the week until I get round to it. I mean, it's not like someone's going to steal it. "Hey what's that in the back of that guy's car?" thinks a neighbourly car-thief. "Oh, it's just some golden old sock!").

Even better worse, the thing comes with crocodile leather on the back, and a special compartment for hiding your jewellery (which presumably you'd need to, as any rings or other bling you'd have would be too embarrassed to show its face in the company of this over-blinged monstrosity!). Personally, I prefer to use this compartment as an ash tray, in a post-modern ironic comment on our consumerist culture!!

Oh, and the phone itself: It comes with GPRS, EDGE, Quad-band, Bluetooth, 2.0 Mpixel camera, FM-radio, MP3 player, stereo speakers, 2 GB SD memory card, Email, SMS, EMS, MMS, handsfree function, 262.000 colour TFT display with a resolution of 176 × 220 pixels and voice memo.